Why I want recovery

When thinking about recovery, this is what I wrote when i was seeking sobriety.  I have a variety of reasons for wanting to heal from my addiction.  Though not necessarily listed here, other things that came into play was wanting support from others, wanting control, wanting freedom from guilt, and wanting to save my marriage.  Feelings are often mixed, and some days I didn't care about recovery.  The list was helpful though, because it helped me aspire to some of my greater goals and vision for my life.  Though I couldn't always clearly see what I wanted, I still believed there was something better out there than this addiction. 

 I want recovery because….


• I want to be free from the addiction. I do not want to be controlled by it.

• I want to really love people. Not out of what I can get or what I can give, but a true balance of people giving and loving one another and growing together.

• I want to have a healthy relationship with my husband. I want to be faithful to him.

• I want to be faithful to my God, and not have anything interfere with my relationship with Him.

• I want to be a good example to my two daughters. To show them what true love is. To not sell themselves short in relationships. To be all they were intended to be.

• I want to feel deep emotions and the truth behind them. I want to enjoy the emotions, and not hide from them.

• I want to follow my values. I want my choices to come from my heart and my head. The intensity of my emotions will be secondary. I want to be able to sort through my emotions and their significance.

• I want to break the unhealthy family patterns that have been passed down to me.

• I want to understand how my abuse has distorted my thinking, and replace old thoughts with healthier ones.

• I have a lot of people watching me. I have an abundance of friends, and can influence others to live healthier lives.

• I want to understand how to have healthy relationships with men.

• I want my energy to be invested in the relationships around me (husband, children, friends), and not be enticed by the quick fix, the passion, the adventure, the perceived love of someone outside of my marriage.

• I want to fully understand my addiction, and acknowledge it for what it is so I can deal with the emotions without overstepping boundaries